Italian B.M.T. at Subway
Oh, Subway. These guys really are magicians. Their ability to take what should be simple and delicious and transform it into a cardboard-coated, flavorless shitlog is, in a really terrible way, astounding. I figured the Italian sub is the best shot at detecting any taste among Subway's offerings, and augmented the salami, pepperoni and Black Forest ham—wait, Black Forest ham is Italian? Pretty sure it's German—with provolone, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers and olives. I told them to get crazy with the oil, vinegar and seasonings. No matter what you add on, it always tastes like Subway. There's no escaping it.